In and out of season - a flow of thoughts


Walking home. Another day. The same road. A bit less snow. Cold. Yesterday was warm. Today is cold. Again. Where is spring? Proper spring. Maybe this is the proper spring? Maybe what I really long for is called summer. Warmth. Sun. Smiles. Yesterday people were smiling whilst walking around in Oslo. It looked like they hadn't seen the sun in a million years. Yesterday they felt it. I felt it too. It felt like spring.

I was sat on a bench in a park, the brown grass surrounded me and a few heaps of snow was scattered around me. I was nearly falling asleep as I breathed the fresh air and felt the sun warming my face. Daydreaming. Thinking. In and out of focus. Some people took off their jackets. Happy people. I allowed their joy to reflect mine. I watched. I was observing the people as if I was on the outside. Where did all these people come from? Most of them must have been hiding for the past few months. Now I could see them. The smiles. Ahhh, finally. The lovely smiles. The fresh new energy of a new season.

Today it was cold again. I saw no smiles. People hurried through the streets, minding their own business. I walked down a busy street in Oslo. People were on their way out, I was on my way home. I was looking as if from the outside. Seeing all the people. Some people laughing hysterically, others shouting something. Three drugged men on a bus stop. Should I have checked if any of them were dead? One of them moved. They were fine. I was just standing there waiting for my bus, feeling frustrated. I looked up. I saw the black sky as the light from the city made it nearly impossible to see the stars. I felt the tiredness of a passing winter.

I wonder if one day we will forget what stars are. If we will stop looking up. If we will fail to see beyond the light from the houses. Beyond the light we created ourselves. The superficial. If our eyes will fail to refocus, fail to see beyond ourselves.

Yesterday people were lit by the sun. Their footsteps were light. We felt the warmth. The sun melted some of the snow and made it easier to walk. The heating turned up in a cold room or even the bright light shining from a huge chandelier, will never compare. Nothing compares to the light of a star. The sun gives direction, warmth and hope.

But you know what? So does the other stars, but they are not as easy to notice. You need to do something to see them. You need to look up, away from yourself. Away from the light you are holding in your hands. The superficial. The stars are far far away. Untouchable. Unreachable. But they are magnificent nevertheless. They give light too. They are reminders of the beauty beyond the surface of our existence. And they don't abandon us at night when we need the light the most. They are there, regardless of what season we go through. But we need to look up. That is our job. To look up. Beyond the clouds. Look into the eyes of the people around you. Beyond the smiles. And see, with your heart. A star was standing in front of you all along, ready to give you a hand. Take it. 

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